A Philosopher's Blog

Finding an Ethical Partner

Posted in Ethics, Guest Post, Relationships/Dating by Michael LaBossiere on May 17, 2008

The divorce rate in America is a bit staggering and continues to climb each year. Currently, about 41 percent of first marriages end in divorce, while 60 percent of second marriages find the same fate. Granted, a divorce can be filed for different reasons, but dishonesty and infidelity is certainly a leading factor. This begs the question, are we screening our dates for integrity?

When canvassing for potential dates, we all know that physical appearance is a high priority. Most people are also looking for common interests and a sense of humor. However, it seems that ethics should also be high on that list, as that will ultimately provide the glue for a relationship. A virtuous, unselfish partner is one who will work harder at keeping the relationship healthy and loving.

Finding someone who is attractive, has similar goals and who possesses a strong moral compass may not be that easy. If it were, then perhaps there wouldn’t be as many relationships ending badly due to lies and infidelity. Many people find moral guidance in their religion and subsequently meet their future partner at church or temple. As we all know, however, following a religion does not automatically make a person morally sound. To that end, there are many secular singles in the dating world.

So, how does one screen a person for virtue? This isn’t as easy to assess as physical appearance, naturally, so one must really read between the lines. Think of integrity as a “soft skill” that is evident by a person’s past experiences. Look at the choices your would-be partner has made in life, the people that he or she is surrounded with. Unfortunately, there is no way to definitely “spot” a person with a strong moral compass, but this should certainly be something to consider when making a love match.

By-line:

This post was contributed by Heather Johnson, who is an industry critic on the subject of best dating sites. She invites your feedback at heatherjohnson2323 at gmail dot com.