Today marks the start of 2016. One tradition of New Year’s Eve is to make resolutions. One tradition of the New Year is to break those resolutions. I am proud to say that I kept my 2015 resolution and plan to keep my 2016 resolution. The secret to this success is, of course, accepting a very low standard for resolutions.
In 2015 I resolved to not die in 2015. Up until midnight, the year could have won by killing me. But, the year failed. Once again. As such, I have made my 2016 resolution: do not die in 2016. I plan to make this sort of resolution every year.
This resolution has many virtues, but I will only consider the two most important. The first is that I really do not need to do anything-not dying is a fairly automatic sort of thing. Mostly.
Obviously enough, one year (hopefully not 2016, but I’ve had a pretty good run) will end with my resolution being broken-or, rather, I will end before the year does. This is where the second virtue comes into play. When I finally break the resolution by dying, I will not be around to face the judgment of those who rather like to judge people for breaking New Year’s Resolutions. Also, even such judgmental folks might feel it a bit too harsh to judge a person for breaking a resolution to not die. Or maybe not. People can be rather harsh.
On a more positive note, here is to a great 2016. Still waiting for that moon base-I really want that before the robot apocalypse. So, Elon Musk, I am counting on you to get it done before Google’s kill bots kill us all.