A Philosopher's Blog

The Google Buttocks Game

Posted in Humor by Michael LaBossiere on June 5, 2010
Female buttocks
Image via Wikipedia

A few days ago I was doing Google searches at the behest of Florence (no, that is not her pictured to the right). Despite the fact that I was searching for information about glass fusing and things she wanted to make out of fused glass, I noticed that pictures of naked buttocks would appear in the search results.  Now, if she had planned on making fused glass images of butts, this would not be a surprise. But, the searches were for things that had nothing to do with buttocks.

After a bit more searching on various non-butt related key words, I came to the conclusion that butts would appear in almost any Google search, even non-butt searches. For example, I did a search on a battlemech from the old BattleTech game, a Warhammer 6D (which looks nothing like a butt). On the second page of search results for images was, you guessed it, someone’s naked ass.

This gave me an idea for a Google game: get some friends together to play the Google Buttocks Game (or Google Ass Game, if you prefer).

Here are the rules:

  • Each player takes a turn picking a non-buttocks related word or words for the search.
  • Each player then writes down the number of the page in the search where s/he thinks an image of a butt will appear.
  • For each page a person is off, s/he gets a point.
  • If there is a question about whether the image qualifies as a buttocks picture, the matter is settled by a group vote. If the challenger loses the vote, he gets a penalty point added to his score.
  • At the end of the game (usually when the boss shows up and says “stop looking at asses!”) the player with the least points is the winner or “ass master” if you prefer.

The game can also be played using other “naughty bits” of the body. The game can also be changed so that the part (butt or whatever) has to be naked rather than clothed to count.


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4 Responses

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  1. freddiek said, on June 5, 2010 at 9:27 am

    While looking up a reference for a response to your “Obama’s Iran Hostage Crisis” article, I decided to play your game. Being alone this weekend, I was reduced to playing a solitaire version. Player A-me and Player B-me chose numbers 8 and 18 respectively. A-me looked for buttocks on 20 pages of a disaster-related topic and sighted nary a butt. A-me, based his/my guess on the fact that I’ve seen some disastrous spandex-stretching globes on the streets of my town; I know they’re out there. Player B-me chose another disaster-related topic. B-me quit looking at p. 20–a winner (if I’m interpreting the rules correctly), but no ass. Consider this the first somewhat disappointing Beta/solitaire test of your game. . .

    • Michael LaBossiere said, on June 5, 2010 at 11:24 am

      Did you have safe search on? Well, I must say that I am sad that you did not get any ass on your search. Better luck next time.

  2. T. J. Babson said, on June 5, 2010 at 10:16 am

    It must be blog ratings week, or something…

    • Michael LaBossiere said, on June 5, 2010 at 11:24 am

      If it were, I’d do something about Twilight or Sex in the City 2. Or not-either would hurt my soul.

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