SyFy? Really?

While reading a Penny Arcade post, I read that the Sci-Fi channel allegedly plans to change its brand name to “SyFy.” The reasoning seems to be that “SyFy” sounds like “sci-fi” and is “ownable.” I went to the site for SyFy and what I read made me hope that this is all a joke or parody. It sounds almost too stupid to be true. But, I must emphasize the “almost.” I’ve dealt with minds (or mind like things) that create such text in all seriousness.  Any case, here are two excerpts and my commentary:

“Syfy will continue to celebrate the traditional roots of the genre, while opening the brand aperture to accommodate a broader range of imagination-based entertainment.”

It might be just me, but talk of opening a “brand aperture” to “accommodate” more stuff sounds vaguely pornographic. Perhaps that is the intent? Or maybe they are making some sort of reference to gluttony: they need a bigger mouth to devour more stuff? In any case, talk of “accommodating apertures” is a bit creepy.

“Syfy — unlike the generic entertainment category “sci-fi” – firmly establishes a uniquely ownable trademark that is portable across all non-linear digital platforms and beyond, from Hulu to iTunes. Syfy also creates an umbrella brand name that can extend into new adjacent businesses under the Syfy Ventures banner, such as Syfy Games, Syfy Films and Syfy Kids”

I am impressed with the use of jargon here. Reading it hurt my soul a tiny bit.  Just a tiny bit (perhaps 1 hit point) but I still felt it. I think this means that they have a trademark that 1) can apply to all digital media and 2) can be expanded to trademark all kinds of other crap.

Although philosophers are often accused of being obscure or using odd jargon, we have nothing on the folks who spin this sort of stuff.

Please, someone provide evidence this is just a parody. 🙂